Word came from the South Pole today that South African and Antarctic governments have reached agreements on South Africa's massive levels of pollution and a few minor territorial squabbles on the Antarctic continent. In a move met with much relief world wide, South Africa promised to halt its polluting ways immediately. Commented a South African official, "We really had no idea that we were polluting so much. We feel terrible about it. When President Kaytoo heard that we had been emitting such an inordinate amount of pollution he choked on an ice cube. He spent several moments suffocating until one of his aids managed to save him. It was a dire situation to say the least, and very, very, very embarrassing. I would not want to be that guy who choked on an ice cube."
Along with promises to halt its pollution, South Africa agreed to cede all territories in its possession, namely the British Antarctic Territory and Sanae, to the Frozen Antarctic Government led by President Imapen Guin as long as South African forces in Antarctica were allowed to be convoyed safely back to the African mainland. Offered another South African official, "We are going to begin our withdrawal immediately. Our army will be convoyed back to mainland Africa by the end of the year in hopes of regaining some ground on the African continent."
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