Eastern Russian Forces March Into Moscow

This seems like just as good a time as any to formally declare war on Russia.

Unknown to the public eye, a recently foiled assasination attempt on Eastern Russian President Lebowski was traced back to Russia. After capturing and torturing one of the masked assailants who survived, the Eastern Russian Presidential Bodyguard chopped him up into little bits and left them in a doggie bag on the doorstep of the Russian Embasy. The President suffered no life threatening injuries during the attack on his motorcade.

The 3rd Armored Cavalry Division marched unopposed into Moscow and will remain for an unspecified amount of time. As of this time, talks have ceased with Russia. Close aides to the President say that they will be willing to give back Moscow to Russia given that "the Reds will agree to our terms."