British-China Terrified at Prospect of Approaching Sewing Circle

Beijing--After evacuating to the former capital of the Chinese Empire, the British-Chinese are currently cowering in fear at the approach the largest sewing circle even assembled. The Circle, originating from somewhere in the Pacific and Indian Oceans has steadily advanced through prized British-Chinese lands, only to find nothing there. "We have destroyed all weapons and military depots so the women could not use our advanced technology. Our Armies are preparing to disband, but will not hesitate to drop the hammer when we can." Said Lord Robert Tunnicliffe IV. "We should have never trusted the Indian nation to our left. They used us as a tool, and it was not appreciated." added Artemis Grunwald, Chief Military Adviser. "We suggest to the rest of the world that you crush them quickly. Do not listen to their prospects of 'minor-bun-engines'. For now, we are holding out until we see an opportunity; however, the future does not look bright. That is why we have gone to our final resort, and our most secret adviser: Dr. S." said Grunwald. Dr. S is a genius who has had extensive experience in the field of national survival; he is most notably known for assisting the United States and former president Merkin Muffy in a similar time of crisis (although many debate that the two were one-in-the-same). "Dr. S has helped us to rig a divice that will explode all of China if Beijing is taken. We have begun evacuations to territories outside of British-China," Tunnicliffe concluded. Dr. S was avaliable for interview, although he was still working to recover from his time with the "Mien Fuhrer." His only comments were: " We must go down into the mine-shafts... where we will have a ratio of ten females to every one male, and we could be back to the current gross national product in... say, twenty years. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature." He had no further comment. After Dr. S's final words, the three gentlemen left to decide upon their next moves.